19. You’ve done something terrible and know you will go to Hell.
I was 13 years old. Freshman at a new school. The outcast. The new kid in town. Everything was against me. All I had was my brother, my mom, and my dad to depend on. No friends...yet. I was confused, lost, and trying to figure out the secret password to fit in at school. My piers were either total bad asses or rich. I was just me. No label, no sense of welcomed arms. Within in the first month I found myself with the bad asses of the freshman class. Not the ideal place for the new kid. I was their experiment. How far will she go? What will she do to fit in? They soon found out that I would have done anything to feel accepted. Maybe a little to desperate, but it is every teenager who wants to fit in. They group I was in smoked, drank, had sex, and all the other things I was not ready for at 13 years old. What kid really was? Well, I let peer pressure consume me and before you know it I was cutting class with some of the others to sneak somewhere and smoke. I hid it from my family which was the hardest thing for me. Being so close to your family makes it harder to be so dishonest. Especially since for most of my life, they were all I had. So, one day I decided I needed a cigarette at home, right then and there. I thought well maybe if I act like I am taking a bath and open the window and light some candles I should be all set. So I did. Soon after I got out and headed back to my room and my mom headed into the bathroom right after. I was like, Oh Crap!" I was a nervous wreck. She came out and said, "Why does it smell like an ash tray in there!" I knew I was busted. We talked and I told her the reasons why, and we agreed that I would never smoke again. Until the next day....I swore I was going to go to hell for what I have been and still was doing. My family had a conversion van, but we didn't use it much. Me and another girl decided that would be a good place to smoke during school. I felt like such a horrible daughter and sister. What kind of an example was I to my brother? Soon after numerous times being caught, I decided that I was not in the best group and that my "friends" didn't have the best intentions for me. I found other people to hang out with and enjoyed not sneaking around.
Aw, michala, you were too good for your own good! Or for the good of this prompt anyway. I was hoping for the sake of narrative tension that your 13 year old peers would persuade you to do something really bad, you would get caught, your parents would be shamed, the whole family would have to move to a new state and enter Witness Protection, etc.
ReplyDeleteRight where the narrative should heat up, you bug out. The best line in here is your mother's ashtray comment--suddenly there's some conflict! Give us a conversation!
But you let it go!
You do bad some more, then you do right, everything's ok, the end.